I am sorry I have not updated more regularly. I think the best analogy right now is I feel like I am treading water and if I do one more thing I am going to sink.
It has been rough. The whole process can just be summed up as rough. Rough and frustrating. It is hard and I think I have been trying too hard to make it look like it isn't hard. I don't know why I do that but I almost always answer fine, holding his own, we are hanging in there. I should add that when I am hanging in there it is usually by my fingernails. I hate asking for help I know that isn't the way I need to be but that pride of mine is hard to swallow at times. People always ask what they can do but honestly most of the time I don't know. I stay so frazzled but I don't want others to see me frazzled if that makes sense.
Anyway the nitty gritty details are that my son has a lot of issues A LOT maybe putting it mildly. Individually these issues would still be an issue but a controlable treatable issue but put them all together and you have a mess. We have SO many doctors involved that inevitably there is a lot of conflict between them. One doc summed it up best by saying "Everyone wants to be right about him, no one wants to admit that someone else may have figured it out". Of course this was said by my doctor that I love and he also said "I will gladly be wrong if the other doctors ideas work better". He is in it for Braden. The travel, the meds, the supplements, the chelation, all of it is taking it's toll on us.
Yesterday you couldn't say two words to me and I would start crying. Today is better. Today I am counting my blessings before I start worrying.
Well this has turned into a rambling post about not much at all but I wanted to blog it and I may do many more rambling posts about nothing because I learned yesterday sometimes just getting it all out there helps. Even if no solution is found just letting someone else know how frazzled I am really helps.
2 comments:
Kelli...I can't even begin to imagine. I've been feeling very overwhelmed this morning, and then I came and read your last few posts here, and I realize how little I have to be overwhelmed about. Every time I start to feel stressed this week, I'm going to stop and pray for you guys.
Of course you know you can call and say this to a person if you want--as you wrote, I may not know what to do, but I can ALWAYS be a shoulder, ear, or whatever you need me to be. Have some peace in knowing that you have friends who love you guys and would do anything to help lighten the load--I am just a phone call away. As always your in my heart, prayers, and thoughts.
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